Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Big Ten Roundup

Northwestern is going to try to head into bowl season at something closer to full strength after being ravaged by injuries in the last few weeks of the grueling Big Ten season. The trib reports that Tyrell Sutton is practicing with the team after getting the pins out of his wrist. If Sutton is healthy, it will give Northwestern much more punch on one of it its two running plays.

Mick McCall's running plays consist of the Inside Draw, and Kafka Smash

Eric Peterman won the Awards and Recognition Association's Sportsmanship Award. In case you're wondering, the Awards and Recognition Association seeks to "advance the capabilities and growth of businesses whose primary focus is the manufacture, distribution or sales of awards and recognition goods and services," which is only slightly less ridiculous than my original thought that they are group of loose cannons who arbitrarily give awards out to people or organizations and feud with their archrivals the Society of Congratulations and the League of Bestowment. More importantly, Peterman should be recognized for naming his winning "Wildcat Games" squad "Victorious Secret."

Coach Fitz is still up for Coach of the Year, sponsored by Liberty Mutual and Gorilla Grod's Legion of Achievement, so vote early and often. I also highly encourage you to vote for Chadron State's Bill O'Boyle in the Division II category to recognize his fine achievements in on the gridiron and not at all because of his stunning resemblance to Soda Popinski.

Bill O'Boyle can't drive, so he's
going to walk all over you


Unlike the volatile SEC, where confidence-men and snake-charmers are consistently hired and fired as coaches, and their comical yokel fan bases turn out to heckle the AD at the airport, the Big 10 coaching picture is relatively stable.

Joe Paterno's extension will allow him to continue his unholy
reign of terror in Happy Valley

The only major change will be the passing of the torch from Joe Tiller to Danny Hope at Purdue, following an exhausting search for a coach that could best continue Tiller's legacy.

Purdue settles on Danny Hope (above, with Tiller) after an exhaustive
search for qualified candidates.

If Bill O'Boyle and Danny Hope are not enough for you, why don't you take a look at this informative and occasionally creepy Mustaches of the Nineteenth Century blog, which meticulously indexes itself with such helpful categories as "Full English," "Mustache Prejudice," "Baseballer's Mustache", and the presumably horrifying "Diseases of the Mustache."

No comments: